[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass][Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"[M2:] "I’m so wasted, man."[Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"[M2:] "Thanks man."[Joe:] "It’s good party, huh?"[M2:] "Oh, it’s great man."[Joe:] "Hey that’s some good acid, huh?"[M2:] "Oh, killer man."[Joe:] "Hey, my pleasure."[M2:] "I’ve never been higher."[Joe:] "Oh ho, you must be freaking out."[M2:] […]

When I was a boyThere was no limit to what I could eatShake after shake after shake after shakeFollowed by all kinds of red meatMetabolism runnin’ around so fastMy body never gained to weightThat pissed off all my Momma’s friendsAnd made my big-boned sister irateBut now I’m a manAnd all that frolicking has caused my […]

Ooooh yeahBaby, baby, baby, I wanna stew your tomatoBaby, baby, baby, I want to french fry your potatoBaby, baby, baby, won’t you pluck my grapesWon’t you peel my banana like a pack of wild apes?I’m your food innuendo guy, your food innuendo guy Baby, baby, baby, you got honeydew melonsBaby, baby, baby, can’t you see […]

[J.N.:] "I can make a bigger splash than you!"[Jimmy:] "Oh yeah, give it a shot." [While jumping up and down on diving board][J.N.:] "Can opener!"[Big splash][Jimmy:] "Man, that one was huge."[J.N.:] "You go." [While running towards pool][Jimmy:] "Ahhhh, jacknife!" [Jumps in and small splash][Tracy:] "That was a dud, Jimmy."[Jimmy:] "Shutup, Tracy."[Tracy:] "You shutup." [Door opens, […]

[Adam:] You don’t mind that I think everybody’s a robot and all my conversations are being recorded[Lisa:] And you don’t mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone with a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha)[Adam:] And you don’t care that I collect dead […]

[Arsenio (Chris Rock):]Now don’t leave us hanging with just that. [JP:]Yeah, I hear that, Arsenio.Yo guys, lets kick it! [Music starts playing] [JP:]Yo now, before we start singing, You also want to know in addition to writing our own songs, we also do our own choreography. [JP:]Girl, I can’t stop thinking of you girl,Y-O-U, spells […]

HeyWhy’d you wake me from my nap?I’m not in the moodTo play your gamesOr sit on your lap YouWhere’s my Yankees drinking glass?I want some juiceAnd I want it nowSo you better move your assAnd feel bad for me‘Cuz I’m just getting over a cold I’m four years old!I’m four years old!I’m four years old!Somebody […]